Doodlebark
A new baby changes everything, especially for the kid who used to be the baby. Some big siblings are thrilled. Some are grumpy. Most are a little of both. Here are some simple ways to help them get ready and feel important once the baby is home.
Before the baby comes
- Talk about it early and often. Keep it simple and honest. Babies cry a lot, sleep a lot and need a lot of help.
- Read books about new babies. Stories give kids a picture of what’s coming and words for how they might feel.
- Look at their own baby photos. Kids love hearing about when they were tiny, and it helps them see that they got the same care.
- Make big changes early. If your child is moving to a new bed or room, try to do it a few months before the baby comes, so it doesn’t feel like the baby pushed them out.
After the baby comes home
This is when the hard feelings usually show up. The baby needs milk, naps and Mom, all the time. It’s normal for an older sibling to feel left out, act younger or ask, “When is the baby going back?”
Give them big-sibling jobs
Kids feel important when they have a job only they can do. Try:
- Bringing a diaper or wipes
- Picking out the baby’s outfit
- Singing the baby a song when they fuss
- Showing the baby pictures in a book
- Telling the baby about their day
Thank them like they did something huge. To them, they did.
Save some just-you time
Even 10 minutes a day helps. While the baby naps, do something that’s only for your older child. Build blocks, read a book, go for a short walk. Call it “just you and me time” so they know it’s special.
Let the feelings be okay
“It’s okay to feel grumpy. A new baby is a big change.” When kids hear that their feelings are allowed, they don’t have to act them out as much.
Watch the free read-along
Want to share the story with your kids? Here’s Penny’s New Baby read aloud, page by page, in a calm bedtime voice.
Get the book
In Penny’s New Baby, baby Pip comes home and Penny feels left out, until she finds her big-sister jobs. The printable book includes a big-sibling jobs chart.
Looking for a gift for a new big sibling? We also make a personalized version with your child’s name right in the story: “[Name] the Big Brother” or “[Name] the Big Sister.”
Questions parents ask
When should I tell my toddler about the new baby?
Many parents share the news when the bump starts to show or when they’re getting the nursery ready. For very young kids, a shorter wait feels easier since months are hard to understand.
Is it normal for an older sibling to act out after the baby comes?
Yes. Regression, like wanting a bottle or more help, and big feelings are common. Extra one-on-one time and simple big-sibling jobs usually help.
What are good big sibling jobs for a toddler?
Fetching a diaper, picking out the baby’s socks, singing to the baby or helping at bath time. Small jobs help them feel important, not replaced.